My flight landed in Amsterdam in the dark. I took a train from the airport to Delft, where I would meet and stay (for the next three days) with my host, Paulina Vanderbilt.
On the train I met two interesting young women. One woman was originally from Italy, the other... I do not remember where she was from. I remember that they were impressive, each in her own right. They were students, of science and medicine, determined and ambitious, and also, spiritual seekers, vulnerable, and sensitive. Though we were each traveling alone, the three of us spent the train ride huddled in intimate conversation.
Soon, I would feel that same intimate bond with Paulina. Paulina was a creative, cool cat. She was both chill and excited, with grounded and fun energy. When I read her introduction in the Host-a-Sister over 50 group, I knew I had to meet her.
Pauline had lived in Scotland and England before settling back in the Netherlands, in Delft. She is married though not living with her best-friend-husband, and her local music-performing coffee-barista adult-child self-identifies as non-binary (as my grandchild does).
One of the many impressive things about Paulina is that she had followed Bruce Springsteen on tour for decades and attended so many of his concerts that The Boss recognizes her.
Paulina met me at the train where we instantly shared a long, warm, full-body hug. We talked while walking along the canals and through town to her home.
She had wanted to build and live in a tiny home when she found this place. I stayed in the extra bedroom upstairs, where there were Bruce Springsteen posters and books, and a collage of ticket stubs, Bruce's signature, and pictures of Paulina and Bruce at concerts.
Paulina's tiny home was equipped with everything one could want, in (what Andy might call a) Bohemian style.
Upstairs was my room, Paulina's bedroom, and a shower and sink (no toilet). There was a spiral staircase from the upstairs to the downstairs...
...into the kitchen and living room. The toilet and sink were in a little closet-sized room outside the kitchen door, to the right. The little bathroom was at the opposite end of the short hall to the entry door. There were shoes on the floor and coats hanging on the hall wall, along with intriguing art and a variety of wise sayings - also found in the bathroom.
I thought it would be tricky navigating the spiral staircase from my bedroom to the bathroom, especially because I knew I would need to take that trip a few times per night (while half asleep). There was a lot to navigate and be thoughtful about... the spiral staircase, unlocking and relocking the squeaky kitchen door, steps up and down from the kitchen to the hall to the bathroom.
Turns out, getting to the toilet was not as difficult as I thought it would be. This may have been because the pay-off (staying in Delft with Paulina) was much greater than the challenge.
Paulina and I spent time together in her home and touring Delft. We walked into town and ate at a hip cafe with healthy and delicious food before hitting the streets.
...and lined with bicycles...
Shops, churches, and museums highlighted art, culture, and a high tolerance for a variety of people.
Paulina pointed out a cafe that featuring baked goods, where people with Downs Syndrome worked. It was called Brownies & Downies...
Paulina was excited to show me the ceramic map of Delft. This extraordinary art piece had been conceived of by mosaic artist Nan Deardorff-McClain and was created (with her tutorage) by the children and adults of Delft (including Paulina)...
Next, we visited the Market Place. Standing and looking in one direction, we saw the Delft City Hall. Turning around, we saw the Nieuwe Kerk (New Church). Between the two extremely impressive buildings was a statue of Hugo Grotius.
I researched about Hugo Grotius to learn that he was the first child of Jan Cornets de Groot (who will be mentioned soon). Although Hugo Grotius was impressive during the 16th and 17th centuries ("...a Dutch humanist, diplomat, lawyer, theologian, jurist, statesman, poet and playwright"), he is thought to be most famous for his "daring escape" from Loevestein Castle "in a book chest."
Paulina retold his impressive story...
Then Paulina turned toward the New Church and told me the story of the Delft Tower Experiment (predating Galileo's tower of Pisa experiment).
In 1586, locals: mathematician Simon Stevin and lawyer Jan Cornets de Groot (Hugo Grotius's dad), dropped identical sized lead balls of different masses from the church to find that the effects of gravity caused them to fall at the same speed...
At the end of the video (above) you can hear Paulina say that "in the church is where all our royalty is buried." By royalty, Paulina meant princes of the House of Orange-Nassau, (still) the reigning house of the Netherlands (since 1544).
We went into the New Church. The first thing we did was to climb the (many, many) church stairs, where we saw the inner clockworks...
...bells...
...views of Delft (similar to what we had seen earlier on the ceramic map)...
...cityscape in the distance...
...a ridiculously happy me in the foreground...
...an adorable real-life Paulina and impressive but not-real stone gargoyles...
...the Goud (where gold bricks were created and placed around town, honoring people who did good deeds), the (crystal) Blue Heart (referring to Delft Blue porcelain, standing in the heart of the city), and a magnificent building Paulina and I dubbed as "just a church..."
From our vantage point we could see the (more famous, leaning) "Old Church" (that we would visit later)...
We saw the Delft City Hall and Market Place (where we had been)...
...(where we would see again, later, from the ground).
After ascending to the top, we turned around and descended the (many, many) stairs to the main area of the New Church. We were fortunate to happen upon a rehearsal for a concert that was to take place that night...
The musicianship was so magnificent, I sat down for a bit to listen. Paulina took a video clip (below)...
We learned that there would be a large chorus (joining the musicians we had just seen) comprised of local special needs children. I wanted to come back to the concert, and felt torn. I was committed to joining our online Meditation Family, which would meet (on my laptop) at the same time.
We continued to explore the rest of the church, where the royals were buried...
I do not remember who this statue (in the picture below) commemorated. I think it was unusual because it was for a woman or a child...
In the video below, Paulina talks about how the squares on the floor can be lifted to reveal the bodies below. You can also hear more of the amazing rehearsal in the background...
There were interactive, informational podiums to learn more about the various people buried below, their relationships to each other, and more...
I did not know that churches had been regularly used as burial grounds...
I believe this (below) is the monument for "William the Silent," the first royal to be buried in this "New" church...
Paulina and I shared some commentary about William and his time period...
When I was not looking down, I was looking up. The structure of the ceiling was mesmerizing...
...as were the angelic statues high up on top of the organ pipes. I of course had to zoom way in to capture them in any detail...
There were interesting historical tidbits about the Netherlands and the churches in Delft...
We were kicked out of the Nieuwe Kerk ("New Church") because it was closing to the public. So Paulina and I walked over to the Oude Kerk ("Old Church").
In the Old Church, there were more crypts under the floor...
...and encased organ pipes and pulpits mounted up high on the walls. I was especially loving the spiral staircases leading to them...
In one section of the church, there was a political-art installation called The Close To Home Show about modern slavery and what we can do to help mitigate the perceived need for slave labor.
I did not take pictures of the show, though I recommend you open the embedded link in the title: The Close To Home Show (above), or point your phone's camera at the square QR code in the bottom left of the picture below...
I do not remember if I ever got to my meditation group that day, or when one day ended and another started.
I know that at some point while touring the town, Paulina talked about the famous Delftware blue pottery...
...and pointed out places where Vermeer painted and lived. We walked by the Vermeer Center...
And that night, after I had made dinner while Paulina taught an online writing class, we ate, then squished together on her couch to watch a movie on her laptop: "Girl with a Pearl Earring."
During the film Paulina would excitedly say, "See that? We saw that today!" or "Remember that street? We were there!" I had seen the movie on my own, long before visiting Delft. This time, because of my amazing tour-guide-host Paulina, Girl with a Pearl Earring came alive.
Sometimes Paulina was home; sometimes she had to leave to work. One day when Paulina was off to work, I explored the living room...
... where I found lots of thriving plants, more art, and an ecstatically joyful moment captured in a snapshot of Paulina and The Boss...
I found Paulina's first novel, called "Chasing the Heartland..."
This back-of-the-book synopsis is so much fun...
I took a picture from my bedroom, of the patio area outside with the tile peacock that Paulina had made...
Out and about in Delft on my own, I took pictures of the streets and homes...
...wooden doors...
...an elephant door knocker...
...and art on what looked like an abandoned building...
I spotted a magical gnome hotel...
...and a giant porcelain lamp...
I saw another mosaic art wall...
...and artistically tiled bike sections on the outside of what I imagine were bike shops...
I shopped around at the Royal Delft and Vermeer Center gift shops, and at the outdoor market. I saw some kind of yellow-green cauliflower that looked like art...
I bought a huge amount of a variety of cheeses, shrink-wrapped to travel back to the US, and fresh food for supper that night.
When I made my way back home, it was easy to know I was in the right place when I saw Paulina's peacock...
...and "The Boss" in Paulina's kitchen window...
At home, I settled in, made a picnic supper for Paulina and I, and packed in preparation for leaving.
When Paulina got home from work, we walked toward the park...
...hiked through the park woods to a lake, sat on a bench by the water, and ate our picnic supper.
A gaggle of young women who were maybe in their late teens or a little older entered the scene, stripped off their clothes, and jumped into what I imagine was very cold water. There was a lot of screaming and laughing. When they moved further away to sit and drink at picnic tables, Paulina and I did what we had come to do.
I had told Paulina that I wanted to spread ashes (preferably somewhere beautiful, in Nature) in the Netherlands. She thought of this park, of this lake.
Paulina documented the event on her phone as I took out the two little jars with Michelle's and Jess's remains and threw some of their ashes onto the land, into the water, and into the air...
After the recording stopped, we sat on the bench and talked. There may have been tears.
Death is a subject not commonly talked about, though death is common to all of us. Talking about death often starts out feeling awkward, though once the conversation warms up, people usually feel more comfortable. And grieving often feels too private for film, so it is often easier to access and allow grief when there is no camera, no audience... just a supportive friend.
It was interesting to learn that Paulina had never seen ashen remains before. I think we were both glad we had done this little ritual together.
After opening the door to Grief, walking back through the woods, I once again felt more grounded in the sacred. Michelle and Jessica were now part of the soil we were walking on, part of the air we were breathing. I felt more alive and grateful for this place, this breath, this new friend I was walking with.
As the sun set, we stopped to take a selfie. By this point, Paulina and I agreed that we felt like found sisters.
After a few days with Paulina in Delft, I took a train back to the Airbnb in Amsterdam where my luggage was, where I would be leaving from, the next morning, for Boston.
Paulina and I said our good-byes and I walked alone through town to the train station. I thought it appropriate that as I walked, the church bells rang loudly all around me. They were so loud, they knocked-out the sad and lonely feelings that had immediately started to creep in.
It was a raucously joyous farewell...
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